The Day No One Showed Up
So this happened the other day…
I got myself already to go, with the regular tummy flips I usually have on presentation days I packed the van, kissed the big guy and the littles, showed up at the venue for the day, set up our workspace for the next couple of hours and crickets…no one showed up.
It hurt, the pre-presentation tummy flips turned in to a really heavy feeling when the self-doubt started kicking in. Am I doing this wrong? Does no body want this? Does no body want me? WHOA!! Back that bus up sister!! You know better than that. And the truth is I do know better than this, my confidence is not lacking, in fact without sounding like a Boasting Betty I will quickly say I have a truck load of confidence…I’ve even been told I have too much (although those sentiments were shared by people that are no longer in my closest circle)
But even with the knowledge of my self-worth, this still stung. I packed up and headed home. My family expected me to be a gone for a while, and I was home in less than an hour. I had to tell my littles that I failed, when really I knew they’d just be super stoked to have me back. But still I knew the reason that I was back early. And then it happened, he looked at me and the tears fell. Dad, Brian, the Big Guy, he’s always been my biggest supporter and the look he gave me let me know it was ok to fall apart. So I did, I let myself release. And as it usually does it fixed it all up. I said all the things I was feeling…hearing all of the doubt and questions actually be spoken sounded like it wasn’t me talking. Am I worth it? Is my message worth it? Are the early mornings and late nights trying to build this worth it? Is my time away from my family worth it? Insert a huge, great big emphatic YES!! Because when it works, when they show up, that energy is uncontainable. My tummy flips are back because of the growth that happens, the realizations they have and the confidence they walk away with. When I get to work with a group of people focused on their growth I grow a million times over.
So I dried my eyes and said ‘Mom’s home early, who wants to go to the Zoo?’ To which my son replied, ‘The Zoo! I’m so excited!’ and I sent a little thanks to the Universe in that moment because had they shown up I wouldn’t have seen that look on my son’s face. Or heard all the excitement that I did for the next couple of hours that we laughed at the monkeys and ate French fries.
So friend, if there is something that you want to put out there and you are afraid that they won’t show up, I get ya! It’s scary as hell, but it has to be done. Because when they do show up it’s Magic. And if they don’t, go to the Zoo!!